Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
Been on what I call my Flying Saucer Tour – appearing in small Southern towns – in front of handfuls of hillbillies.
Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride...
People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
You all saw him – he had a gun.
Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
I am available for children’s parties, by the way...
Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.
Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I’m a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
I wouldn’t give Satan a snowball’s chance in Hell against a woman’s ego...