Im in professional wrestling, which is what I do for a living. I coordinate stunts. I memorize them.
I hear your chants. I hear your cat calls. And yes it’s true. I’m obsessed with other men’s balls. WORD!
Pro wrestling is not fake; it’s sports entertainment. We go out there and we perform, and a lot of what we do out there is real, but we’re not going to insult anyone’s intelligence – there is a predetermined winner. It’s just the fans don’t know who it is, and that’s what makes it so intriguing.
Oh it’s TRUE, it’s DAMN true.
Oh its real, its damn real.
You can turn a giant into a mouse just by getting him fatigued. That was my whole game plan.
You want ME in the ring? Now I know you’ve been drinking.
Believe it or not, I kind of went into professional wrestling so I could get an avenue into acting.
Undertaker, if that is your real name...
I feel like a real cowboy! Yippi Ki Yay!
Your Olympic Hero is scheduled to wrestle a match against the man they call the big red retard; not that I have anything against retarded people cause I don’t. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of retarded fans out there that admire and respect your Olympic Hero, and I wish them well.
Ive been chastised for going into mixed martial arts and backing out. But the reason I backed out was the terms – they wanted me ready to fight in four weeks, but youve got to be out of your mind. So I decided to go back to my roots, back to wrestling.
If your Olympic Hero were to use the Worm in the 1996 Olympic Games, it would be so embarassing to all the other atheletes – and our country, mind you- that the USA would have finished behind Guam.
You don’t BOO an Olympic Gold Medalist!
You can prance and you can dance, but when it comes to relations, keep it in your pants.
I became the first ever Euro-continental champion in WWF history. Well, besides D-Lo Brown, but he doesn’t count.
Children love me, dammit!
Not to mention our former tag team champions lost their titles after my good friend Christian was hit in the genitals with a hockey stick by a midgit! I mean enough is enough.
I love Vince McMahon. He came up with the character. He ran with it, and then I was able to run with it. I thank him for the opportunity he gave me. Vince McMahon was one of my best friends, period.
Hey, I drank milk that was a DAY past its expiration date. Now THAT is extreme!