Such bliss is not meant to last. In my husband’s house, my children were my real gifts.
He was with me, beside me, inside me, and I did not care that my children were asleep, alone at home, or that the neighbors might come to know. He burned the fear out of me until all was left was desire.
There is no right and wrong, and precepts are for fools. Every thing is just as it is! And we must experience things without condemning them, because if we condemn them, then we are becoming too involved.
It was a crying shame!
And after that until the end, there was no relief from being a girl with chores that she wasn’t being paid for, a girl with no new sandals and a friend who wasn’t a friend but a mistress, and a family that wasn’t but people who owned her and ordered her about, and nothing at all but her pretty breasts and her round bottom and her misbehaving hair to help her feel any different.
They are empty the way only things that contained too much can be.
What I do have is the uplifting thrill of knowing that each one of my girls is slowly absorbing that old message passed down from my grandmother to my mother, neither of whom were able to live the truth, that we earn money not to save for the future but to live today, that all money is mad money: It is just a matter of where you choose to indulge your madness.