The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying ‘The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in.
And if Henry Higgins is not the most reprehensible character ever written for the stage, that’s only because somewhere, somehow, someone is composing a musical biography of Ronald Reagan.
Falling hard for somebody makes you do things you never thought you’d do before. Like pulling off an A in History or finally facing the truth about yourself.
My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.
We make families of our own, Travis whispered in my arms on the last night we spent together. It starts with you and me and then it spreads. And whatever happens, there’ll always be a part of me that’s part of you. No matter what.
A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes.
Why do guys insist on wearing those odious jeans with their rear ends hanging down around their ankles? Do they really think it’s hot?
Like there’s actually a need for Greenland. You can get ice at 7-Eleven.
Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that’s crashing.
Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any attraction.
Romance is a universally unspoken language understood by all living organism on this planet except heterosexual men.
Here’s to us. Who’s like us? Damn few.
After you’ve spent four years kissing somebody’s perineum, the subtext talks louder than words.
What I don’t understand is how come I got seven thousand chromosomes that make me smart and not a single one that makes me cool.
If I weren’t so depressed, I’d kill myself.
Would you care to comment on the complexities of the relationship between Heathcliff and Catherine?” Yeah, about as much as I’d care to have a Fleet enema, sir.
Scientists didn’t need to figure this out – Travis did it for them.
Hey Trav, When I first got in this course, I didn’t want a pervert teaching me. Now I don’t mind. – Tony.
Your head and your heart are two different things. One of them can get you into trouble and the other can’t. It’s okay to be scared when you can’t tell them apart. That happened to me every day of my life. But nobody saw it except you.
Everyone has something worth it inside of them even if it doesn’t show. Sometimes you have to look a little harder than other times but don’t give up. Otherwise all your going to see is a sorehead who plays 3d base.
When you get famous or rich and maybe you think that you wish I was there to see it, remember that one way or the other I am.