Bren MacGuff: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream...
You know, I did not like being famous. It was a stressful and ugly time, and I’m glad it’s over.
I’ve been watching ‘American Idol’ since its debut season in 2002. Back then, America hadn’t yet evolved into a gladiatorial cybernation of bloggers, tweeters, and self-ordained voice coaches.
If being an attractive woman got you attention for directing, then the entire ‘best director’ category would be comprised of models. To me, that is just the most ludicrous connection that you could make.
Juno MacGuff: I don’t know what kind of girl I am.
When you’re in a competitive environment, always give out the impression that you don’t care. It makes people want you more. If you act desperate, it’s over. I think a passive attitude is helpful. It comes naturally because I’m lazy.
Nobody comes to Minnesota to take their clothes off, at least as far as I know.
Above the stage was a glass-floored second stage, which allowed customers to look up and watch another girl dancing overhead. This multidimensional display of poontang reminded me of the 3-D chessboard on Star Trek, which in turn reminded me that I was a huge nerd.
Juno: Honest to blog?
Juno MacGuff: I was out handling things way beyond my maturity level.
You make a first impression and people never forget it. If people want to think of me as the wacky ‘Juno’ lady forever, I could think of worse ways to be labeled.
It doesn’t matter if they’re in front of the camera or behind the camera. I know women who are producers who are surviving on nothing but juice and almonds.
Now ‘90210’ is returning with an all-new cast of slightly more plausible teens. I’ll be honest: I wish the old cast was back. Ideally, this spin-off would be an Ice Storm-esque exploration of the West Beverly gang’s bleak adult lives.
Personally, I consider ‘Titanic’ the most brilliant example of successful counterprogramming; the film actually countered itself by embedding an epic chick flick within a classic disaster movie.
Somebody asked me earlier if I thought it was really important to tell stories about women’s struggles. And I said yes, but at the same time, it’s also important to tell stories about women’s triumphs, women being slackers, women being criminals, women being heroes.
Speaking of Twitter, I don’t even know if I composed a blog entry in 2009, as I was too busy parceling my every thought into cute 140-character sound bites. I used to only worry about being pithy for a living; now some of my best lines are wasted on a free app!
That’s also why comedy and horror are my two favorite genres of film to write, because you get these outbursts of emotion from people, laughter and shock, and it’s really thrilling, and I like to be thrilled.
Unfortunately I don’t live by a Target now, so I just go to a regular Starbucks as opposed to a Starbucks nested inside a Target, which is my ideal situation. That works out for me. I like that white noise, those interruptions, and the people around me.
Shoulda gone to China. They give away babies like free iPods. They put them in guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
After you fail, which I have, you can either choose to crumble and retreat and become nonfunctional, which I’ve seen happen, or you can just become a lone wolf, forget about the cool kids and just continue to do your own thing.