I was born serious and I have earned my bread making other people laugh.
If a man is worth loving at all, he is worth loving generously, even recklessly.
You’re only as good as your last picture.
In order to represent life on the stage, we must rub elbows with life, live ourselves.
I enjoy reading biographies because I want to know about the people who messed up the world.
We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves.
I contend that every woman has the right to feel beautiful, no matter how scrambled her features, or how indifferent her features.
There is a vast difference between success at twenty-five and success at sixty. At sixty, nobody envies you. Instead, everybody rejoices generously, sincerely, in your good fortune.
No vice is so bad as advice.
By the time we hit fifty, we have learned our hardest lessons. We have found out that only a few things are really important. We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves.
I never weep over lost money, for I figure I’d rather go to the poorhouse once than go there every day.
That’s the unfortunate thing about death. It’s so terribly final.
Now I know that lawyers must live, but I’ve never been able to understand why they have to live so blamed well!
If there’s one thing I know, it’s men. I ought to. It’s been my life’s work.
My instinct has always been to turn drawbacks into drawing cards.
Never shall I forget those naked, clean-swept little Canadian towns, one just like the other. Before I was twelve years old, I must have lived in fifty of them.
I’m too homely for a prima donna and too ugly for a soubrette.
To know that one has never really tried – that is the only death.
Character is what you have when nobody is looking.
I’ll have my double chins in privacy.