You never truly need what you want. That is the main and thoroughgoing key to serenity.
I regret that I’ve been so busy with clinical work that I haven’t been able to spend much time on experiments and outcome studies.
Attempts to help humans eliminate all self-ratings and views self-esteem as a self-defeating concept that encourages them to make conditional evaluations of self. Instead, it teaches people unconditional self-acceptance.
This, perhaps, goes to show that conditional self-esteem, as I have said for many years, is an insidious, real sickness, so much so that even Buddhists carelessly sneak it in and sometimes encourage their clients to achieve it.
Is self-esteem a sickness? That’s according to the way you define it. In the usual way it is defined by people and by psychologists, I’d say that it is probably the greatest emotional disturbance known to man and woman.
Lack of forgiveness of others breeds lack of self-forgiveness.
People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and that they’d much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection.
I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public.
The easy way out is often just that-the ‘easy’ way out of the most rewarding lifestyle.
In the old days we used to get more referrals, because people had insurance that paid for therapy. Now they belong to HMOs, and we can only be affiliated with a few HMOs.
I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis, but the analysts weren’t listening to my objections. So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.
Needing leads to bleeding – to almost all inevitable suffering.
I thought foolishly that Freudian psychoanalysis was deeper and more intensive than other, more directive forms of therapy, so I was trained in it and practiced it.
Worry itself is one of the most painful conditions.
I’m very happy. I like my work and the various aspects of it – going around the world, teaching the gospel according to St. Albert.
Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.
Unless, of course, you insist on identifying yourself with the people and things you love; and thereby seriously disturb yourself.
I hope to die in the saddle seat.
Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency.
I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.
I started to call myself a rational therapist in 1955; later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist.