You aren’t really old until nothing is fun enough to make you forget the weather.
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance.
As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
God give me the wisdom to see the truth however contrary to my established beliefs.
If we wish to make a new world we have the material ready. The first one, too, was made out of chaos.
It’s a great kindness to trust people with a secret. They feel so important while telling it.
The one word above all others that makes marriage successful is ‘ours.’
Why wish for the privilege of living your past life again? You begin a new one every morning.
There are glimpses of heaven to us in every act, or thought, or word, that raises us above ourselves.
Middle age: The time when you’ll do anything to feel better, except give up what is hurting you.
Why are congressmen called public servants? You never see servants that anxious to keep their jobs.
Another difference between death and taxes is that you don’t have to work like fury to pay for the dying you did last year.
If there be anything that can be called genius, it consists chiefly in ability to give that attention to a subject which keeps it steadily in the mind, till we have surveyed it accurately on all sides.
The secret of a happy marriage is simple: Just keep on being as polite to one another as you are to your friends.
Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back.
The tragedy of ignorance is its complacency.
Americanism: Using money you haven’t earned to buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like.