When I found out I could write I was shocked! I didn’t know I could write.
I’m not a believer, I call myself an atheist. It was man who invented God. I once wrote that there are 15 things I know about God, and one is that he is allergic to shellfish. There are far too many commandments and you really only need one: Do not hurt anybody.
Give yourself an impossible task and solve it – then you’ve got a really good story.
Lust is easy. Love is hard. Life is most important.
I’m an entertainer and I entertain people and they entertain me back by asking questions. And some of them I answer.
An attitude will give you heft.
Improvisation is just writing in front of an audience.
A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don’t think you can develop a funny bone – you either have it or you don’t. And by the way – when you get it, we don’t know it.
Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.
When you denigrate people, they have two ways to fight back – with their fists and guns, or their mouths. And mouths are seemingly the easiest way to not get hit back. If people are laughing, they’re not going to hit you.
You’d only write what you know and what you know is what you do and the people you know. So you’d write about them or the people you have met casually. It’s part of your life.
I certainly have warm relationships with people, but you choose the people you have those relationships with. There are some people I don’t bother with.
I write books that way – I put a first line down and say, “Where does this go?”
I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do. I have three children, I have grandchildren, I have books, I did movies, I’ve directed movies, I’ve done almost everything I’ve wanted to do.
I only please myself. I figure I’m just one of many people. I’m not that different from anybody else and I don’t have great language – I’m very ordinary.
My father was a watchmaker and an inventor. I saw him working in the house every day. The work ethic, I got from him. He worked hard and he never complained about it.
Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you’re the fool in charge.
I’m a charming coward; I fight with words.
I love tweeting. I tweet every day. I stay in contact, I tell them what I’m doing. I’ve posted pictures of my books on there and they buy the books. It’s a very good way to communicate with people, but I can’t go to bed without tweeting something. I have to tweet something.
If you can get a laugh out of a name, you’re ahead of the game.