For repeating themselves from the first kiss to the last sigh, the average man’s love affairs have History blushing with envy.
Nobody is quite so blase and sophisticated as a boy of nineteen who is just recovering from a baby grand passion.
A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.
No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a “Master of Arts” and a “Doctor of Philosophy” after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.
Love: woman’s eternal spring and man’s eternal fall.
Marriage is the operation by which a woman’s vanity and a man’s egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.
Love will never be ideal until man recovers from the illusion that he can be just a little bit faithful or a little bit married.
Flattery is like wine, which exhilarates a man for a moment, but usually ends by going to his head and making him act foolishly.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
What a man calls his ‘conscience’ is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
One man’s folly is another man’s wife.
There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.
And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.
Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
Don’t waste time trying to break a man’s heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.
When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.