The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother – and the public.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
Broadway is a main artery of New York life – the hardened artery.
Money sometimes makes fools of important persons, but it may also make important persons of fools.
It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.
Nothing recedes like success.
Hell hath no fury like a woman cheated out of a million dollars.
I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.
Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having it.
A certain columnist has been banned from all Shubert openings. Now he can wait three days and go to their closings.
I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.
The way to become famous fast is to throw a brick at someone who is famous.
Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well.
America – love it or leave it.
Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let’s go to press.
Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.
We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.
Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.
A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.
She’s been on more laps than a napkin.