We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
I’m glad I’m not bisexual. I couldn’t stand being rejected by men as well as women.
I’ve got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you’re 71 years old. People just think I’m a silly old fool.
Uncyclopedia isn’t funny anymore.
I’m not saying my mother-in-law is fat – because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.