I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world.
When cerebral processes enter into sports, you start screwing up. It’s like the Constitution, which says separate church and state. You have to separate mind and body.
I think about the cosmic snowball theory. A few million years from now the sun will burn out and lose its gravitational pull. The earth will turn into a giant snowball and be hurled through space. When that happens it won’t matter if I get this guy out.
You have only two hemispheres in your brain – a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It’s a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.
People are too hung up on winning. I can get off on a really good helmet throw.
The only rule I got is if you slide, get up.
I’m mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I’d be remembered forever. Now, I’ll have to throw him another.
Baseball is a lot like the Army, there aren’t many individuals. About the only difference is that baseball players get to stay in nice hotels instead of barracks.
The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he’s going to be.
Kids don’t learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore.
The most important question regarding Big Data at almost any company is: How much are your customers really worth?
Smoking’s a way to let you down slowly from a ballgame. It also makes you use less of the resources around. It makes people better in the way they act towards society. Everybody’s nicer. It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.
The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything.