Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.
The victimization of children is nowhere forbidden; what is forbidden is to write about it.
That probably greatest of narcissistic wounds – not to have been loved just as one truly was – cannot heal without the work of mourning.
What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood.
Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one’s parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child.
All children are born to grow, to develop, to live, to love, and to articulate their needs and feelings for their self-protection.
I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively – because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.
The more we idealize the past and refuse to acknowledge our childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation.
Child abuse is still sanctioned – indeed, held in high regard – in our society as long as it is defined as child-rearing. It is a tragic fact that parents beat their children in order to escape the emotions from how they were treated by their own parents.
For the human soul is virtually indestructible, and its ability to rise from the ashes remains as long as the body draws breath.
The reason why parents mistreat their children has less to do with character and temperament than with the fact that they were mistreated themselves and were not permitted to defend themselves.
The abused children are alone with their suffering, not only within the family, but also within themselves. They cannot crate a place in their own soul where they could cry their beart out.
Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. We can only repress them, delude ourselves, and deceive our bodies. The body sticks to the facts.