Sleep helps you win at life.
I don’t think a man who is fifteen years younger than me should tell me he is proud of me unless he is my sober coach or my time-travel dad.
Our ego is a monster that loves to sit at the head of the table, and I have learned that my ego is just as rude and loud and hungry as everyone else’s. It doesn’t matter how much you get; you are left wanting more.
I am tired of being tired and talking about how tired I am.
Sometimes you have to kind of keep proving that you’re improvising. That’s the game, or the goal, of long-form TV improv, is that you have to kind of keep reminding and showing people that you’re improvising, because they won’t believe you really.
I think if I have established anything in my book, it’s that a key element of being my friend is being comfortable with my forced fun.
In my twenties I tried cocaine, which I instantly loved but eventually hated. Cocaine is terrific if you want to hang out with people you don’t know very well and play Ping-Pong all night. It’s bad for almost everything else.
It doesn’t matter how much you get; you are left wanting more.
My phone is trying to kill me. It is a battery-charged rectangle of disappointment and possibility. It is a technological pacifier.
Ignore what other people think. Most people aren’t even paying attention to you.
I asked people who have already finished books for advice, which is akin to asking a mother with a four-year-old what childbirth is like.
A bossy woman is someone to search out and celebrate. A bossy woman is someone who cares and commits and is a natural leader.
Too often we women try to tackle chaos that is not ours to fix.
Taking risks and making choices is what makes life so exciting.
Symmetry is pleasing but not as sexy. Einstein is cool but Picasso knows what I’m talking about.
Nice manners are the secret keys to the universe.
I had to come to terms with how I saw myself. I had to understand that I wasn’t pretty or beautiful like most actresses and that I shouldn’t care about whether other people found me attractive or not.
Listen. Say yes. Live in the moment. Make sure you play with people who have your back. Make big choices early and often.
In the wake of newly-alleged prisoner abuse this week, Senator John McCain said that continued mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners is hurting the nation’s image. Also hurting the nation’s image: letting people drown when it rains.
It seems a strange thing, but once I was able to get past that kind of self-image problem, I was able to open up in my comedy work and just go all out, take chances, and have fun with the performance aspect of that.