Humanity’s first miscommunication with an intelligent alien race. Glad I could be a part of it.
People will trust a reliable criminal more readily than a shady businessman.
Intelligence evolves to gives us an advantage over the other animals on our planet. But evolution is lazy. Once a problem is solved, the trait stops evolving.
Do you believe in God? I know it’s a personal question. I do. And I think He was pretty awesome to make relativity a thing, don’t you? The faster you go, the less time you experience. It’s like He’s inviting us to explore the universe, you know?
Another day, another staff meeting. Who would have thought saving the world could be so boring?
But I have to save humanity first. Stupid humanity. Getting in the way of my hobbies.
Q. Star Wars or Star Trek? A. Doctor Who.
Venkat, tell the investigation committee they’ll have to do their witch hunt without me. And when they inevitably blame Commander Lewis, be advised I’ll publicly refute it. I’m sure the rest of the crew will do the same. Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. – Watney PS: Their sisters, too.
But this is the interstellar equivalent of a stranger offering me candy.
How dare you call me lazy? I’d come up with a scathing retort but, meh, I’m just not motivated.
Not enough,” Annie said. “The press is crawling down my throat for this. And up my ass. Both directions, Venkat! They’re gonna meet in the middle!
One thing I have in abundance here are bags. They’re not much different than kitchen trash bags, though I’m sure they cost $50,000 because of NASA.
How did I end up in this situation? I’m the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space?
Million-mile-high club,” Martinez said. “Nice!
I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet.
Venkat was silent for a moment. “Jack, I’m going to buy your whole team autographed Star Trek memorabilia.” “I prefer Star Wars,” he said, turning to leave. “The original trilogy only, of course.
Damn it, Jim, I’m a botanist, not a chemist!
The overstimulated kids were literally bouncing off the walls. Lunar gravity is the worst thing to ever happen to parents.
Sorry for the delay,” Vogel said. “I was required to make a bomb.
Space is dangerous. It’s what we do here. If you want to play it safe all the time, go join an insurance company.