I’m kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it’s like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you’re feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
The four sweetest words in the English language – ‘You wore me down.’
Come cook food with me and do nothing.
I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you’re gay.
It’s the hardest thing to come up with an hour of material that can consistently keep people laughing.
The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
What’s cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn’t be able to joke about in stand-up.
Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession.
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
If thou canst walk on water, thou art no better than a straw. If thou canst fly in the air, thou art no better than a fly. Conquer thy heart that thou mayest become somebody.
With stand-up, it’s more interesting to hear about people’s failures than their successes.
I prefer being totally sober myself.
I can’t think of any bank robbery comedy where it’s about two normal guys. It’s kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it’s just fun doing a normal guy that’s robbing a bank.
I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I’ve really had.
Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.