If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.
I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!
Cherish forever what makes you unique, ’cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.
I have my standards. They’re low, but I have them.
If you can accept your differentness and learn to love it and encourage it, then you can be someone wonderful.
When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.
Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD’s on and hit play and random things come out.
People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.
Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I’ll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?
Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.
I always try to balance the light with the heavy – a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.
Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities and that’s why I’m on TV. I wasn’t going to sit around anymore, waiting patiently for the damn phone to ring. I had to create my own place- I’ve always done that.
My whole life has been spent waiting for an epiphany, a manifestation of God’s presence, the kind of transcendent, magical experience that lets you see your place in the big picture. And that is what I had with my first compost heap.
Self-esteem is something you have to earn! The only way to achieve self-esteem is to work hard. People have an obligation to live up to their potential.
Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.
Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn’t want to – or can’t – join the Big Parade.
I want it all – and I would like it delivered.
Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.