You sure about this writer thing son?
She doesn’t understand that a writer is a special creature – that I’m different from everyone else. I’m not saying I’m superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won’t even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them ‘parts-dropping-off challenged’ or something.
She was an alien, really – a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine – and he didn’t understand anything about her species.
Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn’t it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.
Don’t bruise the Foo!
The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
Angels are just pretty insects.
People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he’s always eight, and he’s still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.
Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl’s purpose.
It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man’s talents with his personality.
Hope is merely another face of desire.
If you like what you’re reading, I probably wrote it.
Life is an irritation.
This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I’m asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
We Ask the Gods for Answers and They Give Us Questions.