Scratch a cynic and you will find a disappointed romantic.
You see, my plan is working. For it is written that ’if the wise man always appears stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise.
Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both. This is not only the beta male strategy for survival, but the basis for capitalism, democracy, and most religions.
Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair...
He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That’s what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.
In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.
If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key – and this is very relevant in our case – is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.
Faith isn’t an act of intelligence, it’s an act of imagination.
I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
Nobody’s perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him...
And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
Sweetheart, wake up; you’ve destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.
The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
It’s like time travel only, you know, slower...
As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education.
Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring – much like a doctor’s waiting room.
Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life was just a tangled ball of chaos.