He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
You’re the reason I breathe.
Garrett must have sensed I was awake. “Hey Detective,” he said to Uncle Bob, who was now trudging across the grating toward us. “I think we’re losing her. I have no choice but to perform mouth-to-mouth.” “Don’t you dare,” I said, my lids still in lockdown.
My calculations – allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general’s warning – concluded that they probably didn’t stay behind for the tacos.
Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity’s, my dad’s bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
I’d never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it’s not going to be me, missy.
This place is like crazy on crackers.
Jesus may love you, but i’m his favourite.
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I’m good at multitasking like that.
Okay, I’ll strip. I’ll tap dance. I’ll sing ‘La Cucaracha’ in C minor.
I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me.
I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly.
It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.