I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
I may not look like much, but I’m an expert at pretending to be a ninja.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. -T-Shirt.
I’d have a longer attention span if there weren’t so many shiny things.
I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.
It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
You know you have ADD when Look A chicken – T-shirt.
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, “This is Beam Me Up.” Then to my right. “And this is Scotty.” Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.
An integral part of any best friend’s job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don’t want much else from them either.
Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done.
I know karate, and like two other Japanese words – T-SHIRT.
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. – T-SHIRT.
While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.
When I want your opinion, I’ll remove the duct tape. – T-SHIRT.
I chose the road less traveled. Now I’m lost.
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.