I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine.
It’s odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You’ll have a nice time, then two years later you’ll be like, ‘There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?’
The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing.
Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.
I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
This left me alone to solve the coffee problem – a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.
Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.
Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they’re not living in a democratic nation. People stand in line for two houres and they go over the edge.
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
If you read someone else’s diary, you get what you deserve.
Weird doors open. People fall into things.
I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.
Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it’s just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.
Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.
If you aren’t cute, you may as well be clever.
We can’t profess love without talking through hand puppets.
It make one’s mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
Most movies, I forget about them while I’m watching them. I go every single day. But I’ve never thought about participating in any way. It’s like being at home all day. It was never a goal to me.
I’m for gay elopement, not for gay weddings. I’ve been with my boyfriend for twenty years. I don’t feel like that would validate our relationship in any way. But I would really fight for someone else to have the right. Just elope, though, please.