If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.
What price would God demand from the churches for having the audacity to lighten the color of his son’s skin, and straighten out his nappy hair?
Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
The jelly-bean eating thug says that national defense is important. But national defense starts at home.
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Dogs are great assets to candidates, and the feeling seems to be engendered that if a dog loves the candidate, he can’t be all that bad.
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First class.
Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can’t afford it.
When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
Laughter is the best way to release tensions and fears.
I didn’t realize, when I decided to be a comic, that a black person had never been allowed to stand flat-footed in America and talk to white folks. It never happened before.
Race baiters and discriminators may go underground, but they never move out of town.
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
You got to die of something because if you die of nothing, they won’t pay your insurance.
Life isn’t a race. It’s a relay.