Innocence is a desirable thing, a dainty thing, an appealing thing, in its place; but carried too far, it is merely ridiculous.
You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
Somewhere, there, is an analogy, in a small way, if you have the patience for it. But I guess it isn’t a very good anecdote. I’m better at animal stories.
Speech to American Horticultural Society; when challenged to use horticulture in a sentence: You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
He lies below, correct in cypress wood, And entertains the most exclusive worms.
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
The affair between Margot Asquinth and Margot Asquinth will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
And where does she find them?
All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn’t sit in the same room with me.
Work is the province of cattle.
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
Hollywood is one place in the world where you can die of encouragement.
It was written without fear and without research.
My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
Newton’s Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.