You can’t possibly be a scientist if you mind people thinking that you’re a fool.
Lovers of print are simply confusing the plate for the food.
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
We are now cruising at a level of two to the power of twenty-five thousand to one against and falling, and we will be restoring normality just as soon as we are sure what is normal anyway.
There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler’s mind.
And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before – and thus was the Empire forged.
And then, just when you think that you have experienced all the wonders that this world has to offer, you round a peak and suddenly think you’re doing the whole thing over again, but this time on drugs.
You come to me for advice, but you can’t cope with anything you don’t recognize. Hmmm. So we’ll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual, I suppose.
Even the evil-looking bird perched on a rod in the bar had stopped screeching out the names and addresses of local contract killers, which was a service it provided for free.
My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.
The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball.
I don’t go to mythical places with strange men.
People who need to bully you are the easiest to push around.
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?
The idea was fantastically, wildly improbable. But like most fantastically, wildly improbable ideas it was at least as worthy of consideration as a more mundane one to which the facts had been strenuously bent to fit.
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
It all sounds rather naive and sentimental to be talking about children laughing and dancing and singing together when we all know perfectly well that what children do in real life is snarl and take drugs.
We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
Let us be dreamers, thinkers, speculative philosophers, or as our spouses would have it: Idiots.