All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there.
What good is envy? It’s the one sin you can’t have any fun at.
I’m just here so I won’t get fined.
There’s no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.
Free your mind and your ass will follow.
Wu-Tang is for the children.
Creativity is great-but not in accounting.
If you mind your own business, you’ll stay busy all the time.
They don’t think it is like it is, but it is.
Work hard. Don’t quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.
Project management is the art of creating the illusion that any outcome is the result of a series of predetermined, deliberate acts when, in fact, it was dumb luck.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters – 204 if you’re in Japan.
Multi-tasking is merely the opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time.
I’m a project manager, not a magician. Magicians have way cooler hats.
Go have fun and make money.
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Even the best weeks start with Monday.
No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch.