There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Learn to laugh at your problems, cause everybody else does.
I have Many Problems in My Life. But my leaps don’t know that. They always smile.
I think I’m like wine. The older I get, the better I get.
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.
Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We’re unrehearsed.
I’m growing older, but not up.
My hobby is my job. It’s a jobby!
I’m smart enough to know that I’m dumb.
Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.
My coach said I ran like a girl, I said if he could run a little faster he could too.
When the world gets in my face, I say, ‘Have a nice day.’
Don’t ask me, I don’t know.
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
I have an ego the size of a small planet.
My philosophy is: If you can’t have fun, there’s no sense in doing it.
You can’t fix stupid.
Free your mind and your ass will follow.
I like big butts and I cannot lie.