If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.
Comedy is acting out optimism.
Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
A cup of tea would restore my normality.
Learn to laugh at your problems, cause everybody else does.
Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.
Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.
I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
What you see is what you get.