Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’
As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?
There’s no experience like on-the-job training.
I’m smart enough to know that I’m dumb.
My coach said I ran like a girl, I said if he could run a little faster he could too.
The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything.
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor’s appointment.
Don’t hire a dog, then bark yourself.
You don’t have to run faster than the bear to get away. You just have to run faster than the guy next to you.
Don’t take life too seriously.
If you think you are too old to rock ’n roll, then you are.
If plan A fails, remember there are 25 more letters.
Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
My motto is water off a duck’s back. Meaning: don’t let negativity weigh you down, perpetuate positive thinking.
I’m the luckiest unlucky person.
All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there.
What good is envy? It’s the one sin you can’t have any fun at.
I’m just here so I won’t get fined.