There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
Work is much more fun than fun.
My hobby is my job. It’s a jobby!
Drop it like it’s hot.
Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Life is what you make it: If you snooze, you lose; and if you snore, you lose more.
Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
Every dog has its day.
Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.
When the world gets in my face, I say, ‘Have a nice day.’
Let’s put a smile on that face!
Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee’s for closers only.
I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.
I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Don’t ask me, I don’t know.
Parkinson’s First Law: Work expands to fill the time available.
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.