In a fight between yourself and the world, always side with the world.
There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
I think the music of the Fifties is really good. I suspect it’s much better musically than much of what’s available now. Not in terms of production, but in terms of content.
America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians.
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.
As far as rearing children goes, the basic idea I try to keep in mind is that a child is a person. Just because they happen to be a little shorter than you doesn’t mean they are dumber than you.
A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.
Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.
I’m not black, but there’s a whole lot of times I wish I could say I’m not white.
This here song might offend some, if it does it’s because your dumb.
Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it’s the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.
The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.
The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else’s life.
Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.
The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.
Music is the most physically inspiring of all the arts.