Woman’s happiness begins with her first love and ends about then.
People who are hard, grasping and always ready to take advantage of their neighbors become very rich.
A thing that nobody believes cannot be proved too often.
Nothing is more dangerous than a poor doctor: not even a poor employer or a poor landlord.
A family is a tyranny ruled over by it’s weakest member.
History, sir, will tell lies as usual.
Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.
Treat persons who profess to be able to cure disease as you treat fortune tellers.
All religions begin with a revolt against morality, and perish when morality conquers them.
Take the utmost care to get well born and well brought up.
Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out on yourself; in reviewing you take it out on other people.
I never expect a soldier to think.
There was only one virtue, pugnacity; only one vice, pacifism. That is an essential condition of war.
If the English can survive their food, they can survive anything.
Revelations: A curious record of the visions of a drug addict.
The only sensible person is my tailor. He measures me anew each time he sees me.
Man’s inhumanity to man is only surpassed by his cruelty to animals.
An author who gives a manager or publisher any rights in his work except those immediately and specifically required for its publication or performance is for business purposes an imbecile.
Well, upon my soul! You are not ashamed to stand there and confess yourself a disgusting drunkard.
The universal regard for money is the one hopeful fact in our civilization.