A socialist is somebody who doesn’t have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody.
As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.
What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child.
Some people look at the world and say ‘why?’ Some people look at the world and say ‘why not?’
Martyrdom, sir, is what these people like: it is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
Islam is the best religion and Muslims are the worst followers.
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
I love little children too but I don’t cut off their heads and stick them in vases.
What the world calls originality is only an unaccustomed method of tickling it.
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
Don’t lose faith. Promise yourself that you will be a success story, and I promise you that all the forces of the universe will unite to come to your aid; you might not feel today or for a while, but the longer you wait the bigger the prize.
I want to be all used up when I die.
We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
If a group of beings from another planet were to land on Earth – beings who considered themselves as superior to you as you feel yourself to be to other animals – would you concede them the rights over you that you assume over other animals?
Our ideals, like the gods of old, are constantly demanding human sacrifices.
The longer I live, the more I realize that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time!
Happy is the man who can make a living by his hobby.
Science is always simple and always profound. It is only the half-truths that are dangerous.
Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful.
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.