It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him.
Truth – Something somehow discreditable to someone.
Archbishop – A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.
I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.
Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other’s speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
Life is a dead-end street.
The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear – fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.
There is always an easy solution to every problem – neat, plausible, and wrong.
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.
The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.
A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring.
In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.
There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.
Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.