On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!
Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That’s the way the mind of man operates.
Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.
A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.
The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.
The older I get the more I admire and crave competence, just simple competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.
The state remains, as it was in the beginning, the common enemy of all well-disposed, industrious and decent men.
The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
Democracy is grounded upon so childish a complex of fallacies that they must be protected by a rigid system of taboos, else even halfwits would argue it to pieces. Its first concern must be to penalize the free play of ideas.
There are no dull subjects. There are only dull writers.
When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
Jury – A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.
Why do men delight in work? Fundamentally, I suppose, because there is a sense of relief and pleasure in getting something done – a kind of satisfaction not unlike that which a hen enjoys on laying an egg.
Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.
Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of.
There is something even more valuable to civilization than wisdom, and that is character.
The typical lawmaker of today is a man wholly devoid of principle – a mere counter in a grotesque and knavish game. If the right pressure could be applied to him, he would be cheerfully in favor of polygamy, astrology or cannibalism.