Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.
Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.
Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
Genius: the ability to prolong one’s childhood.
A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one’s time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before.
If experience teaches us anything at all, it teaches us this: that a good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
Human progress is furthered, not by conformity, but by aberration.