You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
If you make people think they’re thinking, they’ll love you; but if you really make them think, they’ll hate you.
Like a wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we were, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment.
Love ain’t nothing but sex misspelled.
Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself.
They minute people fall in love they become liars.
I don’t mind you thinking I’m stupid, but don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.
My philosophy of life is that the meek shall inherit nothing but debasement, frustration, and ignoble deaths.
K is for “Kenghis Khan”; He was a very nice person. History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.
Writing is the hardest work in the world. I have been a bricklayer and a truck driver, and I tell you – as if you haven’t been told a million times already – that writing is harder. Lonelier. And nobler and more enriching.
Now begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take care of itself.
The trick is not becoming a writer. The trick is staying a writer.
You must never be afraid to go there.
I usually say I write for the smartest, cleverest, wittiest audience I know, and that’s me.
You’re a writer. And that’s something better than being a millionaire. Because it’s something holy.
You can live in your dreams, but only if you are worthy of them.
I refuse to write the same story twice. I keep experimenting. I keep learning how to work. I’ve been at it pretty much 50 years, and I’m now beginning to learn how to do the job well.
Don’t start an argument with somebody who has a microphone when you don’t. They’ll make you look like chopped liver.
Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?