Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date.
Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.
If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
People tend to look at dating sort of like a safari – like they’re trying to land the trophy.
Things don’t change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
It’s scary to realize that the only thing holding our friends to us isn’t our performance, or our lovability, or their guilt, or their obligation. The only thing that will keep them calling, spending time with us, and putting up with us is love. And that’s the one thing we can’t control.
We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.
Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.
Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.
Christianity is not about morality. It’s about reality.
There’s no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.
The business of church is ultimately people. You’re trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.
I’m not an expert in the sociological realities of all the pastors in the world, but I would say that there are some very, very positive things about the state of integrity in church leaders.
This is one of the marks of a truly safe person: they are confrontable.
Forgiveness gives me boundaries because it unhooks me from the hurtful person, and then I can act responsibly, wisely. If I am not forgiving them, I am still in a destructive relationship with them.
Do not let an out-of-control person be the cue for you to change your course. Just allow him to be angry and decide for yourself what you need to do.
God’s solution for “I can’t live that way anymore” is basically, “Good! Don’t live that way anymore. Set firm limits against evil behavior that are designed to promote change and redemption. Get the love and support you need from other places to take the kind of stance that I do to help redeem relationship. Suffer long, but suffer in the right way.” And when done God’s way, chances are much better for redemption.
People with a style of denial and blaming are definitely on the list of unsafe people to avoid. 10.
You cannot fix people who will not take feedback, because from their perspective, they do not have a problem.
Never say to a third party something about someone that you do not plan to say to the person himself.