This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying “Ooh good I’ve got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.”
Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.
I’m not only in touch with my feminine side, I’m in touch with my gay side as well.
Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?
A turbo: exhaust gases go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing.
You’re a car, but most of all, what you are, what you’ve become, is a mate. And that’s what makes a car special. That’s what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
Speed focuses the mind. It cuts through the fog of drab everyday living and keeps us on our toes. Speed works. Speed saves lives. Speed is good. And we should have more of it, not less.
I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.
You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.
Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I’m coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
Biathletes need to eat 6.000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of 2 pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 TWIX bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don’t feature enough affordable cars on the show so we’ll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!
I don’t often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal’s duty to be on my plate at supper time.
Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley.
This is a hard job. Change gear, change gear, change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That’s a lot of effort in a day.
The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!