As far as I’m concerned, ninety-nine percent of surprises should be avoided at all cost. When I can prepare for something, I’m much better at handling it.
It was an intimate gesture, the kind of thing that happens after all barriers of personal space have been breached.
Lucy. Luce. Luz is light in Spanish, right?” You paused. I nodded. “Well, thank you for filling a dark day with light.
This dream you had wasn’t a someday dream, it was a right-now dream. You would never be happy in New York. You would never be happy with just me. You needed to confront your disappointment in the world, to work through it, if you were going to end up okay. Even then, I understood that. I just hoped you’d come back. You.
La muerte tiene algo que hace que la gente desee vivir.
I don’t want that kind of life, creating what sells.
The moment your body enveloped mine, that’s how I felt – safe, enfolded in the strength and warmth of your arms.
You wanted me because of. Darren wanted me in spite of.
My body reacts so physically to you that it’s almost bizarre. Its’ been like that ever since I met you, and I always assumed – perhaps hoped – that would change at some point. But it never has.
I learned how to capture lightness of spirit while photographing you. You were my muse, my inspiration for all those shots.
Sometimes, I get this feeling that we’d never be close enough. I wanted to climb inside your skin, inside your mind, so I could know all there was to know about you.
Maybe it’s the act of caring so deeply about another person that it expands your heart.
Grief felt like it mixed up her brain and her heart, put them back in the wrong places. She wasn’t sure how she’s set that right ever again.
So I packed up the rest of the apartment and I did, for two weeks. Kate helped me sublet the studio and then I moved to Brooklyn. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed a new borough, a fresh start. And even there I had to avoid Bubby’s, where we went to Kevin and Sara’s wedding, and the Red Hook Lobster Pound, where we went to celebrate July Fourth. You were everywhere. We’d only been together for fourteen months, but it was fourteen months that changed my world.
I knew I’d have to forget that, ignore what could be.
Its funny to experience the same thing with different people. You see how they react, and how they meet or subvert your expectations.
I didn’t write back. I knew I wouldn’t be able to bare it if you ignored me again.
I always felt like I was floating in your wake. It was like you had this magical spell that brought people’s attention to you, your face, your words, your stories.
Love was complicated. it didn’t disappear because someone did something horrible, something you didn’t agree with. it lived there, with the disappointment, the disapproval. you had to figure out how to hold both of them in your heart, or you’d love everyone, everything.
You make me feel invincible,” you whispered. Love does that. It makes you feel infinite and invincible, like the whole world is open to you, anything is achievable, and each day will be filled with wonder. Maybe it’s the act of opening yourself up, letting someone else in – or maybe it’s the act of caring so deeply about another person that it expands your heart.