We’re not going to break anything. Don’t think of it as breaking in to SeaWorld. Think of it as visiting SeaWorld in the middle of the night for free.
Do you know what your problem is? You can’t live with the idea that someone might leave.
I believe in that line from An Imperial Affliction. ‘The risen sun too bright in her losing eyes.’ That’s God, I think, the rising sun, and the light is too bright and her eyes are losing but they aren’t lost.
You can’t just make yourself matter and then die, Alaska, because now I am irretrievably different...
I have to tell you man, that my stalker meter is kind of registering in the red zone right now.
My third best friend was an author who did not know I existed.
While I did not fancy myself a particularly good person, I never thought my first real sexual action would be prostitutional.
You know what I hate? The outdoors. I mean, generally. I don’t like outside. I’m an inside person. I’m all about refrigeration and indoor plumbing and Judge Judy.
I hated talking, and I hated listening to everyone else stumble on their words and try to phrase things in the vaguest possible way so they wouldn’t sound dumb.
The pure and simple truth Is rarely pure and never simple. What’s a boy to do When lies and truth are both sinful?
Shouldn’t letting go be painless if you’ve never learned how to hold on?
You’re arguing that the fragile, rare thing is beautiful simply because it is fragile and rare. But that’s a lie, and you know it.
I was a bit of a Victorian Lady, fainting-wise.
I still think that maybe the “afterlife” is just something we made up to ease the pain of loss, to make our time in the labyrinth bearable. Maybe we are just matter, and matter gets recycled.
I don’t really want to be the costar of anyone’s life.
I like this world. I like drinking champagne. I like not smoking. I like Dutch people speaking Dutch.
When surprised and excited and innocent Gus emerged from Grand Gesture Metaphorically Inclined Augustus, I literally could not resist.
I’d had nearly four years of experience looking at these clocks, but their sluggishness never ceased to surprise. If I am ever told that I have one day to live, I will head straight to the hallowed halls of Winter Park High School, where a day has been known to last a thousand years.
Being in a relationship, that’s something you choose. Being friends, that’s something you just are.
Tiny Cooper is not the world’s gayest person, and he is not the world’s largest person, but I believe he may be the world’s largest person who is really, really gay, and also the world’s gayest person who is really, really large.