My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.
What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh – comedy as electro shock therapy.
Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there’s no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
Today’s comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today’s comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he’s telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
If there was absolute freedom, people would run over babies and charge admission.
The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
You know there’s no crooked politicians. There’s never a lie because there is never any truth.
Anyone who does anything for pleasure to indulge his selfish soul will surely burn in Hell.
Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They’re just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
If you live in New York, even if you’re Catholic, you’re Jewish.
That’s where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that’s dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
There’s always a down side with any freedom. It’s not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art.
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
Alright, let’s admit it, we Jews killed Christ – but it was only for three days.