It’s amazing, the wool the people in power of any nation will try to pull over the eyes of the citizens if there’s a buck to be made. Unfortunately, human nature seems to allow this to occur regularly, out of laziness and ignorance. – Gumption.
Human beings are not simple. We are, in fact, quite complicated. In recent American history, we have engaged in such contradictions as owning slaves, while declaring all people to have equal rights, while heading to church to pray for peace and tranquility, while dropping bombs on Middle Eastern nations to secure the oil we need to fuel our vehicles in order to drive to church. We’re a mess, and we have to count ourselves as part of the whole, because we’re all complicit.
How to Be a Man Step One: Eat a steak, preferably raw. If you can find a juicy steer and just maw a healthy bite off of its rump, that’s the method that will deliver the most immediate nutrition, protein, and flavor. Make sure you chew at least three times. Step Two: Wash it down with your whisky of choice, preferably a single-malt scotch.
We didn’t have to do anything to have a good time. It’s an incredible gift to be able to make your own fun.
A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn’t. – Tom Waits.
Listen. I eat salad... I just now ate a bowl of oatmeal. That’s right. Because I’m a real human animal, not a television character. You see, despite the beautifully Ron Swanson-like notion that one should exist solely on beef, pork, and wild game, the reality remains that our bodies need more varied foodstuffs to facilitate health and digestive functions...
We afford our corporations the rights of human individuals, and then we’re surprised when they don’t exhibit human traits like conscience or remorse. Silly rabbit.
Of course, my fundamentals may not work for everyone. A beautiful aspect of the human race is our endless variety. Like maple leaves and snowflakes, there are no two of us alike.
For candidates to achieve any high office in our state or federal legislature, they are required to make loud, ambitious public promises during their campaigns, which can never be completely fulfilled, even by the greatest humanitarian intentions. Therefore, we’re starting off our relationship with each prospective leader on the wrong foot, a foot of mistrust.
Banding together with others to achieve a common pursuit cannot help but engender a strong feeling of community, whether you’re baling hay or mounting A Chorus Line in a tiny theater space.
When things get bad enough, all you can do is laugh.
Theater, to me, is always a bigger turn on than film. It’s alive.
Get out of your house. Get off of your phone. Then go and participate in things that thrill you.
The debate over the semantics of “preference” versus “orientation” is utter nonsense, and if you even suggest to me that one might “pray the gay away,” I will kick you soundly in your nuts or your juice box, just like I believe Jesus would have.
Mother Nature is not an American, and she is not proud. She is all creation, so her vibe encompasses all experience, in every size, shape, and color, from the high to the low. Her economy and it’s successful evolution thrive on diversity, and her children never rest in their glorious participation, reproducing and adapting, so as to grow ever stronger.
If we pray to the Christian God in schools, we offend the Muslims and the Buddhists and the Hindus, and certainly the SubGeniuses and countless others.
The key lies in finding the delicious flavorings in one’s life, no matter how fancy your blue jeans may or may not be.
I can tell you I’ve crunched the numbers time and time again; it is always more fun to have eight people with one beer than one man with eight beers.
I know of no better way to make a friend than to pitch in on hard work together, and the shittier the conditions, the faster the friendship forms.
I simply knew that I was peculiar and that I was a puzzle to those around me. I was also learning that this weirdness was a part of me that was not to be extinguished.