The only thing worse than quoting me, is not quoting me.
I tried to visit Albania but I couldn’t find it on the map.
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
She doth mean the earth to me! By earth, I actually mean dust.
Full frontal nudity is reserved for Adam and Eve!
God is love, love is blind, Stevie Wonder is blind, therefore Stevie Wonder is God.
If music be the food of love, get me a supersized big mac, chips, two apple pies and a large milkshake.
True love is just like regular love, but with more truth.
Philosophy is like a normal personal organizer, but it’s smaller than a matchbox.
I’m so smart, I read and understand Hegel.
The universe is God. I am God so that means I am the universe.
My philosophy? I’m always right and you are wrong.
There is no such thing as a heterosexual male, only men who haven’t met Oscar Wilde yet.
The last person who ever crossed me is dead under my bed!!!
I should have remembered that when one is going to lead an entirely new life, one requires regular and wholesome meals.
It is a very poor consolation to be told that the man who has given one a bad dinner, or poor wine, is irreproachable in private life. Even the cardinal virtues cannot atone for half-cold entrees.
A virtuous abstinence from the joys of pederasty comes most easily to those who have no taste for it.
No artist is ever morbid. The artist can express everything.
Do not be afraid of the past. If people tell you that it is irrevocable, do not believe them.
Nothing worth knowing can be taught.