I’m still very much an atheist, except that I don’t necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that’s a weird thing that I’m struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious.
Anything’s better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that’s not completely horrible.
People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald’s hash brown if it’s all they’ve got.
Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes.
Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, ‘This is where I wanna be.’
Zombies can’t believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
Meal isn’t over when I’m full. Meal’s over when I hate myself.
You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
I’m always trying out new stuff onstage. That’s where I do all my writing.
Even if you’re popular, there are times when you just feel like you’re not a part of things.
Beyond any role that I ever had, really early on as a stand-up, I would see actors decide to try it and they would bomb miserably. What I realized was that stand-up, acting and writing are all their own disciplines.
Here’s what I’m afraid of. I know a lot of comedians, friends of mine, who just got into the ‘Doesn’t matter what I say. It doesn’t matter. They’re just gonna laugh anyway.’
I’m grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.
When you put an album out, you can’t do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.
In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.
Growing up, there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I’m just saying that movies have a better creative cache.
Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people – sometimes way more creative than I am.
Somebody is going to find a way digitally that is just as innovative. In the end, the tools can change, but there is always someone who can think of something cool to do.