I visited Surrey in the early fall of 1994, and I would return only if I was tasked to kill a demon to save the world. Maybe not even then. Sorry, Surrey. Sorry, world. Yay, hypothetical demon.
If someone like this were to like me, to like my comedy, and to like the way I conduct myself professionally, it would mean that I suck as a person.
The idea of, ‘The journey is the destination’ is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a ‘More Like This’ link on the internet.
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, ‘The good outnumber you, and we always will.’
If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn’t know what I was doing and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up.
I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.
We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
With acting, you see some of the kids are literally just off the street, untrained, and they are great. And others are off the street, untrained, and kind of horrible.
As you get older, as a comedian, and keep doing it, what you actually start to cherish on stage is not the build-up to the jokes, but how comfortable you can be in the silence and the non-laughing parts, and how long you can take the audience without a laugh to then get a huge reaction.
Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as “Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice”?
I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I’m Daffy Duck.
We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate – they see in the long term.
Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you’re not being a slave to your possessions.
I’m so beyond genre, drama, comedies, I just want to do really good, interesting projects.
It wasn’t until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life – and then went to San Francisco and met people who really knew who the hell they were – that I kind of caught up in a hurry.
You just do as many shows as you can to hone what it is you’re working on.