On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.
How long is it polite to continue to be interested in what someone says after they reveal they’ve got a boyfriend?
Even in name, he seems like a Victorian oddity. “Igor, fetch ‘the Crouch’ from the catacombs, we’re going to the graveyard”.
Amy Winehouse – her surname’s beginning to sound like a description of her liver.
Today’s ‘Sesame Street’ will NOT be brought to you by the number 34 or the letter D.
I’ll not be changing, but America will.
I also quite like to be recognized by children; I find it sweet.
People have always said, are you gay? I’ve had a lot of that. But it’s just not in me. I really like women a lot; I’m repulsed by men sexually.
The more people who have access to this vital information the better society will be.
I’ve always had this impulse to be destructive.
People don’t realize that the future is just now, but later.
And while we’re on the subject of ducks, which we plainly are, the story, ‘The Ugly Duckling’ ought be banned as the central character wasn’t a duckling or he wouldn’t have grown up into a swan. He was a cygnet.
A personality for the incredibly beautiful can be a pointless cargo...
Tumbling into a dark, Lewis Carroll labyrinth of filth, pursuing a white rabbit of smut!
By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.
My life is just a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents.
When you fall in love you recognise you’re not the most important person in the world, and your focus becomes another person.
The need to find out what will happen if I don’t relent or moderate my actions has been a constant source of difficulty and discomfort in my life.
For me happiness occurs arbitrarily: a moment of eye contact on a bus, where all at once you fall in love; or a frozen second in a park where it’s enough that there are trees in the world.
Life’s never a postcard of life, is it? It never feels like how you’d want it to look.