The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
One of the virtues of being very young is that you don’t let the facts get in the way of your imagination.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
I’m gonna put all my money into taxes. They’re sure to go up.
You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
If you owe fifty dollars you’re a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you’re a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you’re a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you’re the government.
We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
Give your child a spanking once a day. If you don’t know why, he does.
Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.
It’s not the sugar that makes the tea sweet, but the stirring.
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.
The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.
There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.
The longest word in the world is “a word from our sponsor.”
Never lend money to a friend. It’s dangerous. It could damage his memory.
One antidote for sexual truancy lies in simply teaching youth the wonder, the miracle, the reverence for the creation of life itself. Life is a divine creation. You don’t take chances with creation.
Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn’t poor.