My roommate came running out of the closet and did not stop until he reached Los Angeles. I knew this day would come. Sometimes it’s easier to be your actual self where nothing of your alleged self exists. Sometimes that’s how you find out who you are in the first place.
I think by now we can all agree that the foundation of world travel goes something like “Bring a cardigan.
The question is never “Should I be annoyed?” but “How annoyed should I be?
I reason that I can take 36 hours of pretty much anything. This is willfully off-base logic with zero anecdotal evidence.
Everyone knows WebMD is a Choose Your Own Adventure book in which all roads lead to death.
It’s so clear to me now: the memorizing of a fake prayer, the symbolization of objects, the struggle to relate to the invisible – I needed a religion. I was lost.
Perhaps if I’d had God in my life growing up I would have been able to understand the total and complete unfairness of the universe rewarding mean girls.
Weddings are friendship deal breakers if the friendship is weak. There are too many favors, too many tasks, too much required devotion and Aqua Net for imposters like me. I tried to make eye contact with Francine, to give her a knowing good-bye smile like a ghost of a loved one in a movie. It was no usue, I decided to cut my final pink wire. There would be no more yearly “happy birthdays” and certainly no more bonding with the girl in the duct tape dress. That ship had sailed.
It should be noted that my mother has a long history of being disturbingly unperturbed by what normal people deem perturbing. Certain things simply don’t strike her as worthy of a sit-down.
Teddy bears are best because they understand it’s nice to be alone.
The lies we construct to defend ourselves from humiliation are the strongest, refusing to be torn down.
Besides, a new decade is a chance to find oneself at the beginning of things. Oh, life! What a sweet little Etch A Sketch of time you are!
Los Angeles had its faults, metaphorical and geophysical, but it was not a malicious place. People were nice here. Hollywood was the grade school teacher who started you off with an “A” until you failed. New York was the one who gave you an “F” until you proved you deserved better.
The real proof that I have tried to love and that people have tried to love me back was never going to fit in a kitchen drawer.
There is a point in most abusive relationships when it occurs to the beaten party that they are guilty of putting their face in the way of someone else’s fist.
Why do people always want to put their hands on vulnerability? I sped up.
Francine looked up and mouthed, “Thank you.” “any titme,” I lied.
I thought of the past and how one should have respect for it, like the elderly.
On occasion, it occurs to adults that they are allowed to do all the things that being a child prevented them from doing.
To live alone can be a glorious thing. Between jags of crippling loneliness and wretched TV, it’s an education in self-sufficiency, self-actualization, and self-tanner. But it is possible to have too many rooms of one’s own.